She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
