so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
