Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
