I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize