can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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