So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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