these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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