You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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