Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
