dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize