i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
