Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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