how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it because I queefed?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
