it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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