Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
