i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize