Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
