I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
