Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
