So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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