You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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