new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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