Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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