i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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