A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
