She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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