but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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