drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
