Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This girl is more easily done than said...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize