very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
