you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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