don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
