Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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