Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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