you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
