Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
