You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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