weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
