and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
