Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
