i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
