im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize