it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
