i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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