At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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