Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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