So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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