did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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