Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
