Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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