Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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