Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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