im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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