so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
