Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
