Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have post one night stand depression
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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