it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize