it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
