found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
