dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
