Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize