I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
