I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
