So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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