I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
