Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
