at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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