hell yes lets make some ravioli
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
