2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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