she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize