i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
