He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I have tasted many bathrooms
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
