I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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