I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
