i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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