you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
