My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
