I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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