Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
