I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
