I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
