is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
