I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
